It's been awhile. A lot has happened in the past month. A lot of things have changed. People have died. People have been reborn. People have been good, and they've been bad. And here this blog sat, not being updated, out of fear.
It started with a comment from Maurice that made me me look back at what I had been doing for the past several weeks. I was putting people in danger. I was risking lives. Still, I considered it a proxy trick. I needed a much more jarring wake-up call. Unfortunately, I received that call and it cost me the life of a good friend.
I was sitting with The Mad Ventriloquist, a bit buzzed on beer, about to write a post here when it happened. My phone rang. It was Pete's number. I picked up the phone, expecting another one of our assorted talks only to hear whimpering on the line... I flinched. I knew what was about to happen next. There was only one thing that could happen. I heard a voice in the background, and then Pete gasping out about how it was my fault that he found me, and that he was coming for me next. And then nothing but a gurgle and the silence again.
I didn't tell TMV what happened. I just drank more. I just drank more and more to forget yet another friend who died. I drank to forget that his blood was on my hands because I wrote this accursed blog and let everyone know exactly where he was.
I've lost friends before. I've lost them to Slender Man, to his proxies and husks, to other runners, and to accidents. I've even lost them because I decided to throw my phone at a husk because it was the only thing I had to slow her down. I'd still be in touch with so many more people if I hadn't done that. I've lost many. But Pete cut the closest, because he'd most likely be alive if I'd kept my mouth shut.
So I stopped updating this blog. It seemed like the only option at the time. Then again, I was drunk. It was towards the end of my stay with The Mad Ventriloquist (just before I spilled my story to him) that my host noticed I wasn't updating this site at all. I told him why, and he told me that I had to keep talking. He told me that I had to keep telling my story, that I couldn't just let my voice go silent. I'd joined a community and disappearing helped no one. TMV is a wise man. He's eccentric, but he gives great advice. I thought about what he said, and I've decided to take it to heart. Now that I have this laptop, I can really start writing properly.
From now on, the only person's who's life is on the line here is my own. Any names are changed. Locations are changed. If you need to know a runner's movements, you contact me through e-mail and you prove that you need this information. No one else dies because of me.
Rest in peace, Pete. May you find in death what we all lost in life.